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That Out-of-Control Feeling

1/25/2013

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There's a new driver in our home, and there are few things that cause me to feel more out-of-control than being a passenger in a vehicle in which the driver is still trying to figure out what he is doing.  Don't get me wrong... he's a good driver, and I'm proud of myself for responding so calmly... for the most part.

But every once in a while, there's that primal, knee-jerk, fight-or-flight reaction that frazzles him and ages me about 10 years.  Isn't that just like life and, especially, parenting??  The ride is going along smoothly, until you hit a bump in the road and find yourself responding with a slowdown...SlowDown...SLOWDOWN!!!!

So much of what we face as parents is frightening, and as our children grow older the consequences of their actions become more serious.  Like 2 tons of metal barreling down the road serious.  And as much as there are times that I would like to grab the steering wheel and swerve us back on my course, that decision has consequences of its own.  Mostly, my trying to steer doesn't allow him to learn for himself and, let's face it... I'm not always going to be around to take control of the wheel.

In this season, my job is to ride shotgun, give guidance and direction, and impose consequences (take the keys) as needed.  It's not always a comfortable ride, but at the end of the road I hope to have an amazing relationship with a confident young man who chooses to do the right thing on his own and accepts responsibilities for his actions, both good and bad.  We'll take a few detours along the way, I'm sure, but isn't life about the journey and not the destination??

--Yolanda

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    The author of Life Renewal Counseling's Blog is Jennifer Street, LCSW.  Earlier posts are credited to our former counselor,  Yolanda Harper, LCSW.  For more information on Jennifer please visit the "About Us" section of our website. 

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